15 July 2018

When We No Longer Believe



Psalm 27 and Acts 16:25-34

Eighth Sunday after Pentecost

“What must I do to be saved?” the jailer asked, trembling in fear. “Believe on the Lord Jesus,” Paul and Silas answered, “and you will be saved, you and your household” (Acts 16:31).  Believe on the Lord Jesus.  All you need do is believe.  Belief is the ticket, the key to the door that leads to salvation.  How many times have we heard similar words from countless evangelists and revivalist preachers?  Perhaps that’s how you came to Christ, perhaps that’s how you came to believe.  In a moment of decision, you gave your life to Christ, you first believed on him, and everything changed.

Or—maybe, not.  Perhaps there was no moment of decision, no altar call at a tent meeting.  Perhaps you always knew that God loved you and that you believed in God and believed in Jesus.  Perhaps you grew up in the church and belief came naturally.  That was my experience growing up in the church.  I joined the church in ninth grade.  I took my public profession very seriously, but, in many respects, I was going through the motions with my peers.  I was sincere.  I confessed my belief in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and I remember that  amazing moment when I was finally allowed to share in Communion, to taste the bread and drink the cup.  But, years later, I felt that I needed to make a more personal, public confession.  I really had to declare my belief, in a moment of decision that was truly mine.  We were on a family vacation in the mountains of Kentucky, and I noticed that a local church—Plum Creek Baptist Church in Taylorsville—was having a revival all week.  So, I went by myself one night, and then the next, and on that night, I responded to the altar call, walked down the aisle, and made a public confession of faith.  It was very moving.  Looking back now, it appears that I was an odd young adult, and I’m not really sure what that was all about.  My understanding of belief and the faith, today, are certainly very different.

The story of Paul and Silas in prison is dramatic, moving, powerful.  But I think one should be cautious about building an entire theology of belief on Acts 16:31, “Believe on the Lord Jesus and you will be saved.”  And while many do come to belief through altar calls and revivals or through life-changing moments of decision, I think we need to be cautious here, too. This text appears to place the onus of responsibility for salvation upon the individual to decide, to choose, to believe.  This view places too great a burden upon belief—because what happens, when, inevitably we entertain doubts or have our suspicions, or when we enter into a dark night of the soul and God is nowhere to be found?  What happens when we can no longer believe, or no longer believe the way we once did?  What then? 

Perhaps it’s worse for us Protestants.  As a Presbyterian, I grew of hearing that we Protestants stress faith over works and that “those” Roman Catholics privilege works over faith.  I was told that we can’t earn God’s favor through good deeds or good works.  We know these words from Ephesians, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).  Yes, we are saved by grace, but faith in that grace is also required—and that’s up to me. Faith, belief is what is required.  That’s what I was taught.  My full belief was required in order for grace to be activated, which meant there was no room for doubt.  Doubt was a slippery slope which could lead the way to unbelief, thus putting my salvation at risk. 

Then, at Princeton Seminary, I sensed that something was wrong in all of this.  My desire to have complete faith, to fully believe had become an unbearable burden.  Then it dawned on me: belief itself had become a work—I was trying to “save” myself through my efforts of believing!  And then my world was blown open reading Romans 3 one evening in my room, room 406 in Alexander Hall.  It was verse 26, “God is righteous and that God justifies the one who has faith in Jesus.”  But the Greek isn’t so straightforward. It could be translated another way, “God is righteous and that God justifies the one who has the faith of Jesus.”[1] Faith in Jesus versus faith of Jesus Christ.  Everything hangs on that preposition.  Faith in Jesus requires something from me, something that I have to do. The faith of Jesus refers to something done for me, which I’m invited to receive and accept, invited to affirm Christ’s faith, accepting his faithfulness, which has been imputed to me.  Christ’s faith/faithfulness becomes activated in me when I accept this to be true.  Whether I believe it or not is a moot point; it’s Christ’s faithfulness that has already saved me.  Prior to this, grace was a theological idea that I understood conceptually, that I could intellectually assent to, but then it became real for me, it became an inner experience at that moment.

One of the topics I was asked to preach on this summer is what happens when we lose our belief in God and Jesus.  I’m not sure what is meant by “what happens” in the question.  Is there anxiety around losing faith?  Is there anxiety over the waning of belief and the state of one’s soul after one’s death?  If one believes that salvation is contingent upon belief, then lack of belief, loss of belief would generate a crisis of considerable anxiety and fear.  Then, to remedy the situation, you would have to either do whatever it takes to shore up your belief, reaffirm what you believe or, failing that, full of doubts, reject belief altogether and become an agnostic or atheist or whatever. There are many ways we can go with this question, but I want to focus on the problem of belief itself.

Somewhere in the long history of the Church we moved from understanding the Christian life as an ongoing experience of the risen Lord to the Christian life as subscribing to particular beliefs about Christ.  A lived, dynamic, transforming experience devolved into a concession of beliefs and ideas about Christ that one needs to confess—or else.  Getting the ideas/beliefs right mattered most.  Over time, the faith became overly intellectualized, and overly rationalized (especially in Protestant/Presbyterian circles).  And in evangelical/fundamentalist communities, the obsession over belief is even worse, and has seriously distorted the nature of the faith.  The Christian philosopher, Peter Rollins argues, “Once the truth affirmed by Christianity is approached as an object to contemplate”—that is, once it is placed “out there” at a distance and  objectified, turned into a series of ideas that we scrutinize, debate and argue, and then decide whether or not we think it’s true, based upon what we consider rational—“it is treated as something that can be tested in the same way as any other propositional claim.”[2]   As a result, “the truth affirmed by Christianity ends up being treated like any other set of factual claims, claims that are provisional and open to being proven wrong.” This way of understanding Christian truth places it on “very tentative and fragile foundation.”[3] 

When we reduce Christian truth to ideas, we can say, “I believe in God” or “I believe Jesus was the Son of God” or “I believe Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior,” and think that’s good enough.  Then we can go about living our life, with little or no evidence that such confessions have made any difference.  This is called functional atheism.

Jesus wasn’t a philosopher who came with new ideas to form a new religion.  As the embodied Word of God, he offered himself, the totality of his life given in love, through a deep relationship with the people who followed him. Those who followed him and believed in him—or, better than belief, those who trusted in him (the language preferred by John’s Gospel)—were implicated in their faith, they were immersed in it, they were overwhelmed by it.  They were too busy living it, experiencing it, to be worried about belief.  When we talk about belief, we’re several steps removed from the core, originating experience.  The Christian life is not essentially a belief system, it’s a way of life rooted and grounded in the experience of love.

There was a time when I thought knowing what we believe and why was enough. There was a time when I thought getting the ideas right, getting the theology right was the cure for what ails the Church. I’m not so sure today.  Don’t get me wrong, ideas matter, good theology matters.  There’s a lot of loopy theology out there in the Church these days that’s doing considerable damage and inflicting great harm.  

What I’ve come to know, though, is this: Tending belief is high-maintenance.  Beliefs require verification.  Proof.  Then defense. It requires protection. Defending belief involves argument.  Then we get into debate.  Soon, we’re in the belligerent world of beliefs. What I’ve found in the belligerent world of beliefs is that for these folks, belief has little to do with the reality and experience of God, they frequently lack love and grace and compassion.  Instead, the obsession over belief has more to do with embattled egos, beliefs that have become the extensions of frightened egos, beliefs used as weapons by terrified egos against people or ideas that appear threatening.  All of this has absolutely nothing to do with the gospel. 

The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung (1871-1961) understood this. Writing near the end of his life, he said, “Belief is no adequate substitute for inner experience, and where this is absent even a strong faith which came miraculously as a gift of grace may depart equally miraculously.”[4]  The world has grown tired of beliefs.  The world knows the costly price of dogmatic assertions and fundamentalisms of every kind.  And the world has lost faith, is quickly losing faith in what the Church believes because the Church fails to really embody it—incarnate it, enflesh it—in its practice.

So what happens when we no longer believe in God or Jesus?  I, personally, don’t think one’s salvation is at risk. That’s my view—and, I’m not suggesting that it should be yours (of course).  So, don’t call the heresy police on me.  I do think, though, that I’m on pretty good theological ground. 

I agree with Peter Rollins who cautions against turning God, or even Jesus, into an idea or fact, into an ideology that we subscribe to intellectually.  “God is not a problem to be solved,” he says, “but rather a mystery to participate in.”[5]  With this claim, he’s intentionally riffing on Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) who said, “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”  I’ve come to sense that God is the Ground upon which we live out and struggle with our beliefs and doubts.  God desires that all people come to experience the goodness of the Ground, the one in whom we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28).  As we saw in Jesus’ life, God desires that we enter in the fullness of life in and through a dynamic, relationship with God, it’s the relationship that matters most.  This is what the heart desires.  We hear it in the cry of the psalmist, “‘Come,’ my heart says, ‘seek his face!’  Your face, LORD, do I seek. Do not hide your face from me” (Psalms 27:8-9). So that whether we believe in God or not, God still believes in us.  You might have lost touch with Jesus, but he has never lost touch with you.  Your path might have taken you far from the courts of the Lord, you might be wracked by sin and shame and regret, overwhelmed by doubt and anxiety and fear, but God knows where you are, for there is no where we can flee from God’s presence, even if we feel like we’re living in hell (Psalm 139:7-9).  “Where can I go from your spirit?” the psalmist asks.  We are being held by a love that will never ever let us go.  Paul asked, “What can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord?” The answer:  Nothing!  Nothing!  Not even our unbelief.  This truth is the Ground, the Ground of the universe, the Ground upon which we can move confidently through this world. That Ground is always there, it holds us and hold us up—we just need to remember what we already really know.

So what if we are being held, despite our faith and our doubt? What if we’re held in our faith and our doubt?  What if we’re being held by God even when God feels very far away?  The Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross (1542-1591) knew this to be the case.  In his encounter with the absence of God, what he described as the “dark night,” he came to discover that absence is not really absent, and that the darkness if not really dark.  It was in the darkness that he discovered God’s abiding presence.  He came to love the darkness that hides the living God.  “Oh night thou was my guide/ Oh night more loving than the rising run/ Oh night that joined the lover to the beloved one/ transforming each of them into the other.”[6]  God holds us in our doubt.

The church can also hold our doubts.  When we stand to confess the creed, we stand for the entire church, even for those who cannot stand but want to. When we live out the faith, we are also bearing witness to Christ on behalf of those who can’t. We’re affirming the faith, being strong in our commitments, when people are wavering or doubting or have lost their way. God’s truth abides, whether we believe in it all or not.  The church remains being the church, and we will be here offering sanctuary whenever the prodigal returns home.

And sometimes our doubt and waywardness are simply a matter of forgetting.  We need help remembering who we are and whose we are.  We need help remembering what is always true.  We need help remembering what is already true.  God as Ground is always there.  God’s faithfulness is always sure.  We are not alone in this universe.  Nothing can separate us from the love of God.  The Holy Spirit is our companion along the way.  These are things we need to remember, to remember what is always true. Sometimes we just need help remembering what we already know or used to know.

There was once “a little girl, aged 3… the firstborn and only child in her family, but now the mother was pregnant again and the little girl was very interested in this pregnancy and very excited to have a new brother or sister.  Shortly after the parents brought her baby brother home from the hospital, the little girl approached her parents and made a request: She wanted some time alone with the new baby in his room with the door shut.  She wanted to ‘talk to him.’  The parents were understandably perplexed by this request and knowing something about how older siblings can feel quite angry at being displaced by the birth of new brothers or sisters, they were cautious.  However there didn’t seem to be anything [nefarious] in their daughter’s request and there was also an intercom in the baby’s room so they would know immediately if anything untoward was going on. 

The moment finally arrived and the little girl was shown into the baby’s room and the door closed, with both parents rushing nearby to the intercom to hear what this ‘conversation’ might be. They heard their little girl’s feet walking across the room; then there was a pause.  And then they heard her say to her three day old brother, “tell me about God; I’ve almost forgotten.”[7]




[1] This is just one of several places throughout Paul’s writings, especially in Romans, where “faith in Jesus” could also be translated “faith of Jesus.”  A good annotated version of the Bible, especially the Oxford Annotated New Revised Version, clearly notes these alternate readings.
[2] Peter Rollins, The Fidelity of Betrayal: Toward a Church Beyond Belief (Paraclete Press, 2008), 91.
[3] Rollins, 93.
[4] C. G. Jung, “The Undiscovered Self (Present and Future),” Collected Works of C. G. Jung, Volume 10 (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1978), par. 521.
[5] Peter Rollins, The Fidelity of Betrayal: Towards a Church Beyond Belief (2008)
[6] St. John of the Cross, “The Dark Night,” variant translation by Loreena McKennit, “The Dark Night of the Soul.”
[7] Recounted in Marcus Borg, The Heart of Christianity: Rediscovering a Life of Faith (San Francisco:  Harper, 2004), 113.



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